Family School in a nutshell

I was speaking with a friend this past week about our experiences at the family school. He and I hooked up through some alumni channels, and he is from the old times whereas I am a more recent graduate. Neither of us are attend A.A. or any other group of that caliber. While we were at the school felt pressure to consider ourselves some sort of addict. Anyways he made a statement that what he learned at the Family School is to “Tell the truth, say your prayers, and help other people.” For the past several days this has been resonating in my head. I have never been able to sum it up, but this was indeed my experience. The staff and students alike strive to achieve the four absolutes on a daily basis. In addition to that we have the 10 Commandments, and the 7 Deadly sins to look to as how to live our life appropriately, but I think this statement sums up the experience in a nutshell.  Anyone have any thoughts on this:

Tell the truth, say your prayers and help other people

Friendship

I was speaking with a mentor the other day  and we  began speaking about friendship. She told me that a while back someone had told her that you really only need three friends … a Paul, Silas, and Timothy. She continued to explain Paul, is this idealistic person who you strive to be like, and keeps you in check with your actions. Silas, is the person who keeps you in your daily check … tells you when you’re messing up and is just there no matter what. Timothy, is like the younger generation where it is your job to help him grow and learn to do the right thing. During this encounter I thought, “ya know this is kinda how the family school is set up. Your first “6 months” are meant for setting your goals, and getting worked on by others. The next 6 are meant for self evaluation and keeping yourself in check with your goals. The last 6 are all about giving away. So I was looking at my life and thought, I think I have a couple Pauls. My dad and my grandfather are two people who I always check my thinking, and strive to be like. My friend D is my Silas, we keep each other in check and are there through thick and thin. However… I am missing a Timothy. I would say that this is possibly the most important part of the three. Over the course of my life I have learned so much. However if I am not giving it back it doesn’t seem as useful. I dont need to go out and seek a friend, but rather give away and I believe a friendship will grow.  Perhaps I am wrong, but I thought this a good model to share with you folks and wondered your thoughts on it.

Gratitude

I got an email from my mom, I’m not really sure where she got it from but here’s what it said

Are you grateful for the luxuries in your life?

Even if you’ve never seen it, you are probably aware of the CBS reality show “Survivor”–16 castaways sent to live on an island to duke it out and vote one another off for $1 million prize. What is most striking about this concept is not the competition, but the absolute gratitude these people hold for things we take for granted every day. The dirty, unpurified water they cling to for life is the same stuff we flush, wash, and cook with every day without batting an eye. They covet and fight for food that we could easily pop in our microwaves or sit down to eat at a restaurant. The very fact that you can read this at your computer signifies that you are one of the most wealthy, educated people on the planet. Take a moment to think about the luxurious and privileged life you live. Give thanks for a whole body, everyday freedoms, your family, and all of the choices you have. Cherish what you have while you have it because you never know when your life could change.

She was sending it to me because I had just done something about the Purpose Driven Life regarding gratitude. It has been making me think a lot about what I have. I have seen people at the mall, outside stores asking for money for Hati and Chile, but yet I turn away thinking… money is tight enough… how can I take care of me and them? And I am constantly reminded of a much “easier” time in my life. I remember being at the family school and not too much was important, sure my parents were covering my food and housing, but I was happy without tv, computers, gaming systems and every other electronic luxury I afford myself. The family school showed me a way to be grateful for what I had at the time and while I have not really been living that message, it is something that I really would like to try to do. I remember being grateful for the littlest things like… Ice cream on the weekends … Dorm time … extras … chapel … watching movies (on rare occasion)… playing games with my friends… phone calls with my parents … letters, all these things I now either take for granted or am bothered by. So anyways… Here is a prayer for gratitude. Does anyone else have any great memories they are grateful for the school for?

Purpose Driven Life

I have recently began the “Purpose Driven Life.” I am not sure if everyone knows what it is, but it is a guide book lasting 40 days to help improve your relationship with God. I heard about this a while ago and have never really engaged with it. While I was at The Family School, I would say that I really made a choice for the first time in my life that I wanted to life as a Christian. My faith is one of the major things that helped me to recover and live a healthy successful life. I have heard many stories about how this has changed peoples lives.  So far, I have been doing it with my parents, my significant other and father in law. We have been sharing about our experiences with the readings and questions, getting to know each other better, as well as ourselves. I can say that I have been much happier since I have been reading this book. The only other time I felt this sense of being re-energized was when I was at the school. I want to say thank you to all of you who helped facilitate that the first time. I don;t know if anyone has had the opportunity to engage with the purpose driven life, but I would strongly recommend it.   I was wondering if anyone out there has had this opportunity and would like to share their experiences with their growth in faith, or the purpose driven life. Another site to check out would be Exploring Life Purpose (LearnThis.ca).

Another Life Ruined?

In a previous post I mentioned that at The Family Foundation School I learned the Truth Prayer. Here it is again anyways…

From the cowardice that does not face the truth

From the laziness that is content with half truth and

From the arrogance that thinks he knows all truth

Good Lord deliver me

There are three types of hang ups we can get caught in causing us to lie. The one that seems to be bothering a lot of people is the laziness that is content with half truth. No matter what the case may be that is fueling those against FFS, they seem to be content with presenting partial truths. Kenny Flyboi left his own site to shed his complaints on a Facebook group dedicated to sharing positive messages about The Family Foundation School and there he made a derogatory comment claiming that a student had his “Life Ruined” because his transcripts were withheld due to nonpayment of the tuition bill. The drama in that statement is probably enough to prove my point about half truth, but if you actually read the article that Kenny links to, the school did in fact issue the student his transcripts.  It says –  ”The complaint is missing key facts. The student referred to in the complaint did in fact receive his Diploma and Transcripts.”  This update was posted on the 22^nd yet Jon Martin-Crawford, on the 23^rd , repeats the misinformation anyway.   By the way, I think Neil and others are doing a great job at helping promote the real truth on that Facebook pro FFS group.

Mark Twain advised us that “A half-truth is the most cowardly of lies.” – food for thought.

Read more: http://www.consumeraffairs.com/education/family_foundation_school.html#ixzz0h2Shl8iP

Dicipline

I was reading over the “truth campaign’s” facebook page when I came across some an old story which was republished regarding a specific staff member being temporarily suspended and asking why it is that she was reprimanded but not others in the past.  From my eyes, as an alumni it has been dealt with at least since I was there. Also my family and I maintain some contact with the school administrators as well as other staff members that the school does properly train and reprimand when violations occur. I have a clear recollection of one staff member confronting another on an issue that was being brought to a student. They thought that it was being handled inappropriately and the staff member promptly apologized and continued the discussion in a different direction. Staff, are not above making mistakes, but how they handle them impact their reprimand. I know that the issue of duct tape and blankets has long been brought up as well. It seems as if they are beating a dead horse with it. Carly D. Miller is an expert on restraint process HERE is her interpretation of this old practice. However even the debate on it is dead. The family school requires all staff trained in therapeutic crisis intervention. The practice is outdated and was long ago replaced.  In addition to TCI the school’s administration conducts staff training classes weekly led by credentialed professionals both from within and without the organization who specifically present on an array of topics centering on the best practices for working with troubled teens. So again to address the main point, I believe the school administrators are extremely vigilant about providing safe and nurturing environment through staff training and supervision. The school’s action of severely disciplining a staff for a single slap on the back to an out of control student verbally abusing another student shows the schools commitment to  providing a safe and trusting environment for its students.

God is Love

I have been trying to improve my relationship with God over the past couple weeks. I have been speaking with some of my friends of different denominations as well as those who just don’t believe. Some of those have asked me the question what is God?  How do you identify God? Where is God in your life? and many questions like this have been asked in an introspective manner as well. Well during this time I came across a bible verse it is Hebrews 11:6 (NIV) — God is Love.  So it got me thinking how do I improve my relationship, and the answer came that I be more like him. I look up to my parents and grandparents as good moral influences, and think how do they do all that they do for so many years? And I think the answer is quite simple. They love and since they love, God is doing everything with them. I think my most beneficial experience from the Family School was my ability to feel loved by so many people. There was such a presence of God everywhere that it gave me such a happiness and such a desire to share love and in love share God.

Olympics

The Olympics truly are an amazing thing. Last night as I watched the opening ceremony, I was amazed at how many countries were represented. Each of those athletes having completely different life experiences, different beliefs, different goals as well as many other aspects. Yet once every four years this group of athletes gets together and competes for their nation, a sense of pride,  and honor.  Countries can get along, with minimal problems at the Olympics. It is truly the grace of God. I was thinking of all the things in my life that have been given to me. The Family Foundation School was one of them. People from all different walks of life all gathered together for a greater good. For healing, learning, as well as many other things. During that time in my life, I was able to take a step away from all the problems that surrounded life and confront them in a different light. My stay taught me so many important things. One of them being that no matter what my family loves me and is proud of me. I don’t need to be a gold medal Olympian to have pride and honor and love and support, I can get it any time from those around me who love me. So thank you very much for providing me the opportunity to have all of these gifts back in my life.

Accetuate the Positive

As Lent is coming up next week, I have been evaluating  myself and thinking how have I done this year? What kind of man have I been? And many questions similar to this. Well after beating myself up for a little while because of all my shortcomings, I said but that isn’t really who I am. I then tried to look back and say where did I achieve? How successful was I at the tasks I did? and more positive questions for self-evaluation.  I have made some very significant changes in my life, becoming a much better person than I was last year.  I think the same type of thinking can be used to evaluate The Family School. I had many positive experiences while I was there. Those experiences have led me to be the man I am today. So while everything has its flaws, perhaps we can all use some reflection time to accentuate the positive experiences we have had while at the family.

Abuse

When I look at Emil and Kenny’s statements I cannot help but chuckle. I was there for two years around 2000 and my family and I were helped greatly. We are big supporters of the school. In my time name calling was never allowed. And what is with comments about Duct tape and blankets? This practice was a restraint technique that the school replaced over 10 years ago with Therapeutic Crisis Intervention taught out of Cornell University. A small fraction of the students fighting about this specific abuse never witnessed this going on, and when it was, it was used frequently in all therapeutic environments for the safety of all involved in the restraint and was not considered abusive. The commissioner has said in other words present new evidence or drop it. You are all unable to present anything that is remotely reliable and valid. As I stated on facebook. It makes me sad that the truth campaigners resort to personally attacking the staff members at the school, including the Argiros family. Over the past 30 years, they have helped thousands of people in restoring sanity in their lives. If that is abuse, then charge me as an accomplice because I am forever grateful of the family school and all that they have given me.